In order to first understand where I'm coming from, first you need to know a little about me. I'm the kind of person who can feel like I am battling the hardest storm of the century, and once it is over, I look around and see other people's struggles and dismiss mine as little rainstorms that were just passing on through. I discount too many things in my life. I often don't place enough emotional value on things causing me to not really care about much. I could never make myself say "I love you" to anyone; not my sisters or brother or mom or friends. It felt weird to me because I put up a barrier to block that emotional side from ever surfacing. I hate crying. To me, if I cry, it is because I'm weak and would show others what is going on inside of me which is something I am not OK with. I can plaster on a poker face so good, I bet those Texas Hold'em cowboys couldn't even see past it. I am an extremely private person. I don't tell nobody nuthin'. AND THAT IS BAD. I hate asking for help because 1) I feel like an unnecessary burden and 2) I am prouder than a pride of lions. Honestly, I would rather be attacked by an alligator than walk up to someone and ask for help [about anything!] because that would be admitting that I don't know something myself.
(Ok, that's enough for now. I hope you enjoyed reading my flaws)
So now that you have some insight, as I begin to narrate my journey to today, I hope you can draw some strength from what I have learned and maybe it will help you learn too. I am a much better person because of the rainstorms I've had to sit through and the holes I've had to dig myself out of. But please, please, please remember: I was never alone during those rainstorms and rough winds or alone digging through the dirt, looking for the sunny surface. I was never alone. I will never be alone. And neither will you.
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